Although there are many ways to define the concept of self-esteem, in general, the term encompasses the way we think and feel about ourselves, and also the way we evaluate ourselves. Children with resilience and healthy self-esteem believe that they have a willingness to face challenges that are difficult for them to overcome and that they are worthy of love.
It is never too late to build your self-esteem and increase your ability to be a good example for your children.
Children with low self-esteem tend to be very critical about themselves, they do not dare to face challenges since failure would confirm their negative vision, they show a poor tolerance for frustration, and they do not feel worthy of love. On the other hand, having negative self-esteem is correlated with many mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and substance use.
10 tips for raising a child with resilience and self-esteem.
One of the main goals of parents is to ensure that their child develops and builds healthy self-esteem to carry with him for the rest of his life. Here are 10 tips for raising a child with resilience and self-esteem and helping your children see their inner beauty:
1. Shape resilience and healthy self-esteem by taking care of yourself.
Children are very in tune with their parents’ general state of well-being, and parents often don’t see how much their children are paying attention. In fact, children use their parents as role models and as a mirror of their own feelings. So, if you are struggling with your own self-esteem and the demonstration of these struggles is through your words and actions, chances are your children will do the same as well.
It is never too late to build your self-esteem and increase your ability to be a good example for your children. Participating in psychotherapy, for example, is a great way to get help with life’s challenges, including parenting, and to increase your love for yourself.
2. Pay attention to the way you speak and listen to your child.
Analyze the criteria and labels that you tell your children to describe their character, as they can affect more than you think. For example, “Michael is nothing shared.” This may be interpreted by your child as a worldwide statement of disapproval, rather than a description of a particular behavior.
That is why it is better to describe behaviors in the moment, rather than globalize them (for example, “Michael had a hard time sharing his toy with Marcos the other day”) and model the behavior that you want your child to exhibit.
3. Help your children express their feelings and change false beliefs.
Ask your children a lot to express their feelings, both in successful and challenging situations, so that they become experts in recognizing and expressing emotions. When you hear your children express negative beliefs about themselves (for example, “I am stupid”), encourage them to see the situation differently (“What proof do you have that you are stupid? A bad grade does not mean that you are stupid. You have a lot of strengths too!”).
4. Emphasize the importance of effort and completion rather than performance.
Research shows that it is more effective to reward effort and completion of a task than to praise children for their performance compared to others. You want to make sure your children understand that they are valued for who they are, not for how they perform on a par with other children.
5. Create a safe and warm home environment.
A familiar environment, a home that is safe and loving, and has established rules and structure, is essential for building resilience and self-esteem in children. Be sure to account for your children’s interactions with other kids at school and with their groups of friends to the best of your ability to ensure that they are safe and secure in those relationships.
6. Remember and show that failure is part of life.
In order to learn and develop, we have to experience failure in our lives. Children with high self-esteem tolerate failure and see it as an opportunity for learning and growth. And along with that.
7. Let your kids take some risks and make some decisions of their own.
Although parents may find that it is very difficult to take a step back and see their children fail, it is imperative for the development of healthy self-esteem, allowing your children to take risks and possibilities so that they can develop confidence in themselves and in their choices, and be more skillful when solving problems. Furthermore, they understand that failure and success are not a reflection of their worth.
8. Get your kids involved in cooperative experiences.
It is important for children to experience cooperation and collaboration through a range of activities such as volunteering, team sports (especially those that emphasize teamwork), music and art, and camps.
9. Teach your children to be critical of the media, especially social media.
Instead of outright prohibiting or limiting your child’s exposure to social media (which often makes them want to see more), help them to view media and Internet publications with a critical eye so that they learn to understand with efficiency in the way of managing the information and messages that are being given.
10. Remember that love is unconditional.
Make sure your children are aware of and experience your love for them no matter what, and make it very clear that your love for them has no limitations. This is a powerful component for building your children’s self-esteem.
If you are concerned that your child is having problems with their self-esteem, consider seeing a psychotherapist to help build their repertoire of skills to cope with the challenges they face, and to foster positive self-beliefs that increase their self-esteem.